Thursday, May 17, 2012

Switching Payne by Amber Kell

An abusive childhood causes a barrier in Payne's relationship with Braxton. When they meet Flame a solution to their problem might be at hand. While the path to love is never smooth, three men prove harder to balance than two.

Payne's abusive past raises a barrier in his relationship with Braxton, but they love each other enough to work around it. When they meet Flame, a solution to their problem might be at hand.
While the path to love is never smooth, three men prove harder to balance than two and Flame isn't sure if he's ready to be part of a trio. But Brax and Payne are determined to make Flame part of their family and the combined power of men in love won't be denied… even when death tries to knock on their door.
After two life-altering events, Payne realizes in order to keep the happiness he’s found, he can’t let the past rule control his future.


A deep chuckle pulled him out of his afterglow as Brax wiped him clean with a warm washcloth.
"Thanks." Payne offered his lover a tentative smile. Maybe one day he wouldn't feel so shy after making love. Two years together should've broken him of his inhibitions but sadly they remained along with his other hang-ups.
"You're welcome." Brax kissed Payne hard on the mouth telling him without words who controlled his pleasure. Payne sank into Brax's embrace and everything faded into the background while he absorbed Brax's attention like a sponge soaking up his lover's affection.
It ended too soon and his habitual depression settled in like it always did after sex, even great sex. His heart ached since he knew he couldn't give Brax everything he wanted. "I wish…"
"Shhh." Brax kissed Payne again, silencing him. "You know I don't care."
"But you never…"
Brax placed a finger across Payne's lips. "Listen to me. You know as long as I have you I'm fine." Brax's brilliant blue eyes glowed with sincerity and it washed over Payne sending a warm glow to his heart.
Payne stilled the impulse to shake his head. He didn't want to fight. Love for the man leaning above him almost crushed his chest from the weight of it. The therapy he'd begun last year had started to work, but he still couldn't let go of his old issues and allow his lover to fuck him. Memories of a childhood filled with abuse at his father's hands brought up too many horrible flashbacks.
Brax always told Payne his past didn't matter, but Payne knew it did. Brax didn't enjoy bottoming. He didn't fear it like Payne, but he didn't derive a great deal of pleasure out of the act either. The few times Payne had tried to top Brax had been a disaster. Now when Payne needed to fuck someone they found a third for the night, which solved Payne's physical ache, but not his emotional one. A poor solution to an insolvable problem, but the only one they'd been able to come up with. After each episode his guilt compounded, since Brax never touched the strangers they brought home. Brax had hoped therapy would solve their problems but it simply kept ripping them open, making fresh wounds every time Payne mentally relived his father's sick behavior.
"Did you want to go on the art walk?" Brax caressed Payne's face with the back of his fingers, drawing him out of his bad memories.
Brax rarely said 'I love you', and it used to bug Payne, but over time he'd come to realize Brax spoke through his actions instead of his words. Payne gave his big lover an appreciative gaze, adoring all six feet and two inches of luscious muscled manliness.
"Huh?" Payne found it difficult to focus on what Brax said while they were both naked.
Brax smiled as if he could read Payne's mind. "Art walk? You said before you wanted to check out a new painter."
"Oh, right the one I saw in last Sunday's paper. She's supposed to be amazing. Yeah let's go. Sounds like fun but let's take a shower first."
Brax laughed. "Great idea."
Sometimes, in really good dreams, Payne imagined hearing his lover's deep rumbling laughter.

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