Saturday, April 20, 2013
Cupid's Revenge by Ellen Cross
When Heaven bungles their paperwork and recruits the wrong guy as a cupid, who will stop his rampage of revenge?
Ever felt that instant spark when you meet someone you have never seen before? That shot of electricity at the first touch? Or what about an overwhelming sense of déjà vu at a mere glance? No, it’s not love at first sight, but instead it’s the work of a cupid.
Cupids aren’t angels, or the stereotypical cute little cherubs wearing a loincloth and wielding a bow loaded with heart-tipped arrows. Cupids are actually humans, recruited by Heaven for their overwhelming surplus of love within their heart, and gifted with the ability to share a small touch of that love with others—unseen by the human eye as they bring soul-mates together.
But what happens when someone upstairs gets their paperwork mixed up and recruits the wrong person? What happens when the person they recruit has no overflowing amount of love…in fact, they have no love at all within their heart?
Liam is so sick and tired of all the hearts and flowers shit every Valentine’s Day. The build-up to the day…irritating, the actual event…torture. Just for once, he would love to get away from the whole experience. Fate on the other hand has a very sarcastic approach to his plea. An accident at the Heavenly bookkeeping department sees Liam enlisted into the ranks of Creating Unlimited Possibilities Into Destiny…or CUPID for short.
Unable to get a single person to listen to his protests—and teamed with a guy who might actually be cute if he just stopped acting like a kid—he is told to choose his method for deliverance of his love. Liam lets his pissed off attitude choose for him, and revenge on the other cupids becomes his only mission.
This Valentine’s Day, Liam is hunting them down.
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He gave Ethan a good-natured smile. “Just do your voodoo on the balls, smartass.”
Ethan picked up the bag he had brought with him and dug inside. After rooting around for a few seconds, he broke into a wide grin as he pulled out a thick, black utility belt.
“Is that what I think it is?”
Ethan grinned wider than a Cheshire cat. “Yep, it’s part of my costume.”
He put it on, opening a small pouch-pocket from the front and retrieving a small silver golf ball. He drew it up to his lips, closed his eyes and blew on it. Opening his eyes, Ethan handed it over to Liam.
Taking the offered ball, Liam turned it over and examined it. He held it up to Ethan.
“So this is now charged up? All you had to do was blow on it?”
“More or less, that is the gist of it. The pouch supplies me the balls—which never run out. Each time I take one out, it’s replaced by another. I then concentrate and blow on the balls, and there you go. One love enchanted ball ready for you to swing to its intended target.
“Now, why don’t you see if you can possibly hit that other mannequin further down the grounds without racking up another kill for your count, today hmm?”
Liam aimed carefully and yet again barely tapped the mannequin. The second the ball hit the humanoid statue, however, a bright flash of glittery pink exploded the ball into a cloud of nothingness.
“Now, that is how it is supposed to work when we do it right. Unless I charge the balls, they will be just like any other ordinary golf balls. When they are charged up, though, they will disperse and deliver the love I place inside of them with my breath.”
“What If I charged them up?”
Ethan smirked and cocked his hip to the side. “You have to be full of love to charge them up. You don’t have it. You’re full of something all right, but it isn’t love. But…why don’t you try one and see, just for shits and giggles of course.” Ethan withdrew another ball and handed it to Liam.
After accepting the ball, Liam held it close and blew. He dropped it, took aim and swung away.
The ball arced beautifully, landing with a neat bounce and hitting the mannequin in the leg. A small purple puff evaporated the ball. Liam watched, horrified as a chipmunk, several small brown squirrels, and a badger rushed from the gardens toward the statue and started to hump its legs.
Ethan’s mouth fell open, a look of sheer incredulousness taking over at the sight in front of him. He gulped loudly.
“By all that is sacred, what on earth were you thinking when you blew on that ball?”
Liam tried to give him an innocent look as he shrugged, but his lips wouldn’t stop quirking up at the sides.
“Don’t tell me. Your head was full of dirty thoughts.” Ethan shook his head, looking more horrified when several more small furry critters joined in the writhing mass.
“I feel so sorry for whoever has to clean that.” He turned and gave Liam a very disapproving look. “Whatever is on your mind when you blow goes into the ball. You,” he poked a finger into Liam’s chest, “are not blowing on any more balls!”
Liam couldn’t help it. He bit his cheek, he bit his tongue…but the comeback flew out anyway. “Not even your balls?”
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